Demystifying ‘blogging’, their revenue streams: the case of Nyakundi, Alai vs Akothee

I hear this line a lot, ‘the more you like and comment the more they smile all the way to the bank’, that line is fallacious.

While there exists a lot of opportunities on social media for an individual who has a massive following and more importantly who has an engaged followers, comments and likes themselves do not translate to money in the account.

To take a step back, the verbal war between Akothee & Alai/Nyakundi is sad and sad indeed. Sad because it reveals the moral decadence that exists and more so because the effect is far reaching and wounding especially to the third parties involved.

Akothee may have developed a thick skin over the years but her kids/parents/siblings/lover (all who are her active followers on her various social media platforms may not)

Alai maybe immune to insults over the years but his wife/siblings/kid(s) may not.

In order to deliver killer punches, the insults are now targeting third parties – the insults are scarring.

There is some level of respect that I have for parents (however young your kid is), there’s some level of respect that I have for mothers, there is some level of respect that I have for human beings in general that uttering some insults even as basic ones as ‘guok’ sounds sacrilegious to me, I wonder the ease at which others can easily say them.

Morals aside

Bloggers have different revenue streams - if we exclude outrageous exceptions where some donations are pegged on for example the number of likes/comments that cleavage/mjulubeng can gunner – these revenue streams are not directly pegged on likes.

Yes, having a sensational even scandalous post that is bound to go viral and drive traffic is good for this third rate bloggers of ours as they more often than not increases the said bloggers following, mere likes & comments do not cut it.

Revenue streams

• Content marketing – The higher the number of engaged followers you have, the more likely other organizations ‘might’ use your platform to advertise their products and/or services, there are a number of variables to this as well, your reputation as an individual will help filter out the kind of organizations that use your platform/page to advertise.
• Payoffs to malign/scathe – the dark side of ‘blogging’ especially for the bloggers who lack in morality but have huge following is the fact that an individual/company may pay them off to run scathing attacks on a personality/company
• Payoff to create awareness/promote etc - back to content marketing
• AdSense – if you have a blog/website, a blogger can register to have Google enlist their blogs/websites for AdSense, majorly for PPC (pay per click) kind of advertisement.

So, unless someone has been paid to run scathing attacks on an individual, the kind of foolish exchange we see between Akothee & Alai has no commercial angle to it however, it may gain Akothee & Alai more followers which then allows them to have a higher bargaining power when negotiating advertisement deals or brand ambassador representation because:

•          They will present the number of followers that they have on all the platforms
•        They can clearly demonstrate (and we have back-end tools to provide this statistics and analytics) the level of engagement that their various posts normally gather – by engagement we are looking at viewership (for video), reactions for Facebook post (likes, shares etc), reach, exposure, retweet level etc.

N/B,

We will be dissecting this blogo-sphere in the coming days…

Stay tuned!

Arwa Turns 1 | The Chronicles & The year that was

I would work till the last day, false labor would force me to take my maternity leave, my last trimester with you were my most productive days. I would clock 12+ hours in the office, get home well past 10 pm daily, partly to avoid being alone, partly out of fear.

Things had gone south with your old man.

I had played all the scenarios of bringing you forth in my mind, I was psychologically & mentally ready, I wanted to meet you.

Arwa would be your name.

Your last journeys in the safe confines of my womb would begin, it was on a Sunday, alone in the house. Labor would strike!

I would carry my bag, with calmness that surprised even myself, and off to the hospital I would go.

My 42 hours of pure agony would begin, I longed for my mama.

I would call a dear friend – Sidindi – when the pangs of labor were splitting my womb apart, at 1 am he would rush to the hospital, he would keep vigil with me till your first cry at dawn 5 am on a Tuesday morning. He’s a friend in deed, a friend for keeps. You owe him your appreciation, learn the art of friendship from him.

We did not have a very strong bond immediately after your birth, more often than not I would forget I was a new mother. I resisted most of the assistance offered and insisted on relying on my own strength, I wanted and needed to prove to myself that I could do this, unknown to me I was teetering on a very dangerous ropes. The first 3 days after your birth, I barely ate properly but survived mostly on dates. I almost died!

At 24 days old, having mastered your sleeping pattern and with urgent transaction to make, I would leave you sleeping in the house as I rushed to the bank, this was one of the most worrying of decisions I have so far made in regards to you. Getting to the bank I would find a very long queue, I would plead with the teller to serve me that I had an emergency back home, he would hear none of it. With the thought of a 24 days old baby alone in the house and being almost an hour away stretched all my nerves. I stormed the branch managers’ office and told him I had left behind a 24 days old baby alone and asleep in the house and that I needed to be served urgently otherwise the worry would kill me.

I was served.

Our bond was re-fueled by the worry.

I rushed back home after +almost 2 hours apart, I remember opening the door and rushing straight to where you were sleeping, so peaceful you were, oblivious of the fact that you had been left alone in the house, oblivious of the worry that almost killed mama. Ohh, how I held you so tight this day. This day cemented our bond.

Your birth drew me closer to my sisters- my elder sister especially- and opened my eyes to the bond that I had been missing all along.

In you runs the blood of two of the most powerful men who have ever graced this Kenyan soil – your paternal and maternal grandfathers, the blood of Abonyo Nya’Gumba, my mama, cruises your veins too, I couldn’t be more grateful to God.

You are your fathers’ son and your mama’s boy, a time will come when you will need to curve your niche in this competitive world of ours, you will have to fight for your own space, you will have to fight to be your own man, when that time comes son, mama will expect you to rise to the occasion.

In whatever you do, you will have mama’s support, love and admiration. She will gently guide you through this maze of life, cheering you on, lovingly admonishing you, offering counsel here and there but ultimately she will let you make your own decisions, make your own fair share of mistakes but she will be here to pick you up should you need mama’s shoulder to lie on.

Mama will ALWAYS have your back.

Of the 365 days we’ve had since your arrival that chilly morning on 7^th of March 2017, 363 of them I have tucked you to bed, watched you fall asleep, kissed your forehead and felt your warmth. You have filled our house with so much warmth, so much joy and so much love. We have had peace in overflowing portions even when the odds were sometimes stuck against us, we have had you and you my son are enough just the way you are.

We have marveled at each milestone you have achieved and in wonderment realized just how the simplest of things like rolling over bring the greatest of joys.

Every single day is a new experience with you and you always have something new to unleash.

If it’s not raising your fingers when you were 4 months old and staring at them as if they were some sorta new discovery, then it would be your sharp hearing abilities that would detect even the slightest of movements especially that of the door opening and closing up, how you twist your mouth when you are about to cry, how you glow and giggle and laugh when you are happy, how you smile when amused, how you ‘sniffle’ people in acknowledgement and as a sign that a) you notice them or b) you welcome their presence, how you invent the different styles of refusing food; from sticking your tongue out to make sure no spoon goes past it, to blowing everything out, to biting the spoon so hard that one cannot pull it away, to turning your head to angles that only you know how to make, to pretending to be swallowing everything only to store them somewhere in that small mouth of yours and remove everything later on, how you destroy things in the house; I have changed more than 4 phone charges so far among other things that have ceased to exist because of your existence. All these things that you do, add color to my life, to our house.

Then sometimes you fall sick and gloom fills my heart and our house.

You would have your first tooth at 6 months, your first lower tooth, now you have 8 of them, EIGHT! That bites like wild NatGeo animals J.

You would begin seating at 5 months and without support at 6 months

Your first step would be at 11 months, ohh what joy this was!

Your language is a combination of many syllables and sounds; I know when you are throwing tantrums and when you are serious, I know when you just need mummy’s attention and when hunger pangs hit, I know when your diaper needs changing and when you need your own space, having the chance to intimately experience and know these has been the greatest gift 2017/2018 has offered me, offered us.

You are my confidant son, I don’t talk much, I don’t open up as much, more often than not I keep my feelings to myself; my worries, my low moments and the moments I’m fighting my demons. I have not only opened my heart but my world to you, I tell you my deepest of worries, concerns, ambitions and plans. I share with you myself, my being. And sometimes you reward me with a smile, sometimes you just trace my facial features, the feel of your lil’ hands on my face is always heavenly, sometimes you look straight and deep into my eyes, my soul and sometimes you behave as though you heard nothing.

I thank God for you.

Sometimes emotions overwhelm me, sometimes I wake up with a heavy heart but you make a lot of things look and feel better, you give me hope, you make me want better, you make me be better.

And as if just having you was not enough, God would send the best of the best nanny our way, she is one of the few people I fully entrust your care to when am grinding and hustling in these streets of Nairobi to offer you a comfortable life, we love her and pray for her and if God wills, we would love to make her dreams have wings someday.

Another Michael would join our lives in the year that was, a unicorn - the last unicorn if you may - a true testament that God weaves our stories in the best way only HE knows how. He warms mummy’s heart this one. And with him on-board, three Michaels would be in mummy’s life, three Michaels of three generations apart, all greatly valued, all great and/or poised to be great men; Michael mummy’s uncle (the one you are named after), Michael mummy’s anchorage (the one who warms mummy’s heart) and Michael the prince, the one who crowns mummy’s empire, the heir apparent, the one who will perpetuate mummy’s dynasty, the one who has stolen mummy’s heart.

Our journey has just began son, it will be full of twists and turns, heartaches and joys, sun and gloom but one thing is for sure, we will build our empire an enviable empire, the Minto Dynasty. TOGETHER!

Your love is pure, undiluted, untainted, no expectation pegged to it.

I have been loved son, I have loved deeply but this love of ours is different.

It's a different kind of love.

Happy 1^st one Arwa, unto many more to come.

Dear Nanny/DM

In your care I place my son, in your care I lay my worries of his wellbeing, in my home and heart I welcome you.

It’s been 6 months of nothing but bliss with him, it’s been 6 months of continuous bonding, of building love and trust, of nurturing this purity and feeling and it has been great, it’s been uplifting, saddening even sometimes but mostly it has been a changing feeling.

My boy does not understand much for now, but his perception in life will majorly be shaped by the world we give him, the foundation we lay now, the love we offer now.

My time with him is somewhat limited given the demands of my work and the need to give him – and you – a good life, you will therefore be a great source of influence in his life, his wellbeing will majorly be anchored in your treatment and care of him. Am trusting you with part of me, am trusting you with my very blood, am trusting you with my world, kindly be gentle with him.

If you allow him, he will teach you the wonders of life as he has mine, he will open your eyes to the beauty of simple things, he will teach you how to love, how to trust, how to submit and how to find pleasure in simple things like toys, shadows, colors and even sound.

If you allow him, he will mold your perception in life and open your heart to the joys that liveth in giving, in caring, in shaping a life – he will reward you with a smile and that smile will be curved in your heart.

He will have his days; days when you feel he’s too exhausting, he will throw tantrums, soil his nappies, cry uncontrollably, refuse to be fed and even to sleep, these times will be trying dear nanny as they are to me, but in these difficult times, I beseech you to be gentle with him, lovingly firm with him, teach him the power of self-soothing in these moments, show him love, bring back his smile.

Am alive to the heart-wrenching stories of inhumanity that has been meted in some babies by their caregivers, but am appealing to your humanity, to the inherent goodness that each one of us is born with, am appealing to your emotions, kindly, treat my baby as you would yours -  we are all he has, let’s make that count for something.

Do not be the one to puncture his belief in humanity, do not be the one to take away his innocence, do not be the one to clip his wings even before he blossoms into a butterfly, do not be the one to cocoon him and kill his sense of wonder, of curiosity, of exploration, do not be the one to sow seeds of hatred into his tiny beautiful heart rather be the one to guide – as I will – his first adventure into this journey we call life.

He is such a sweet boy this one, he will brighten your days if you allow him.

When you feel overwhelmed, feel his little fingers on your forehead, allow him to bless you, allow him to feel your sadness, his emotions will synchronize with yours, he will empathize, if you allow him. Allow him in your world, in your sadness and joys, let him know that it’s okay to be sad but most importantly teach him to lean on his strength to overcome any discomforts in life.

In your conversations with the Most High, allow baby to stand in the gap for you, his little hands hold, in supplication to Abba Father, because of his purity and sacredness of his thoughts, tell him to join you in prayer, ask him to intercede for you, ask him to pray with you – he will.

They mimic our world- these little ones, what we do and say impact greatly on them. What we watch and listen to shapes their world a great deal. Dear nanny, I implore you, may my baby’s holistic development be of paramount importance to you as it is to me.

I’d have loved for you to stay with us for as long as you possibly can, to be part of our family, to have such a strong bond with him, that he may have great stories about you when he comes of age, I’d love for us to come pay you a visit someday and for you to see him once more and be proud of the man you helped shape.

But for now nanny, teach him how to enjoy and marvel at his milestones, allow him to enjoy being a baby and only know love in his life, for to live this life will require faith, love and courage.

Be gentle with him, be a good influence in his life

He’s such a sweet little boy, he’s my son and he’s all I got.

CHRONICLES PRECEDING NULLIFICATION OF ELECTION RESULTS – MINTO’S PERSPECTIVE

                                               AM. HAPPY. AMOR

9:07 am: (My Jubilated Omera (JO), he warms my heart this one J)

Mc’Obor: How do you see this ruling?

JO:  They are going to uphold Kamwana’s win but will not compel NASA to shoulder all the legal fees, they are going to sympathize with your situation since you are already reeling from an electoral loss.

We then talk about a myriad of other issues, touching on politics mostly. He passionately supports Kamwana. I passionately support Baba. I ‘force’ him to apologize for calling me, a Baba supporter, insane. He begrudgingly does.

He’s a good soul this one.

10:30 am:

I get out of bed (Am Fatuma today J, and it’s Ul’Adhi, we are on holiday) I flip through different local channels to get their analysis on the impending ruling. I ready my son (5 months) for breakfast. He’s on my lap (he’s my world this one)

10:40 am:

We settle on KTN NEWS (Baba said NTV is biased, we rarely watch it J), they are now showing lawyers streaming in plus a couple of other guys who are allowed within the supreme court surrounding. I introduce them all to Baby, I tell him their names, their roles, and my, maybe, biased leaning e.g this is Orengo Jim, my Senator, Baba’s Chief Counsel. This is Otiende Amollo, Ja’Uyoma. Mummy is NyaUyoma, Uyoma has produced a number of great minds. He was once an Ombudsman but now he’s my MP, he’s part of Baba’s legal team.

Then Baba walks in, flanked by the likes of Sultan, Muthama and others, I watch him in awe, in reverence, with profound love and somehow I hold my breath because I don’t know how upholding of Uhuru’s win will affect him. I wish him well. We do breakfast in silence.

The Supreme Court judges walk in. Maraga is brief. I know the ruling will not be in our favor, but I follow the proceedings nonetheless.

Somehow I hear Maraga say, 2 judges, dissented. My heart sinks. I quickly assume that they are the ones who felt the election was marred by irregularities that the other 4 upheld Kamwana’s win. I inform my DM that Kamwana’s win has been upheld. Her heart sinks. She’s a Baba supporter but even a Rasanga (she calls him Ras) die-hard. Am team Gumbo.

Njoki Ndung’u is asked to read out her dissent, and so is Ojwang. I get confused.

The TV briefs read “Election was marred with irregularities”. 2 judges dissented. Am confused. Part of me feels this is going our way. Part of me can’t believe the judges had the cajoles to overturn Kamwana’s election. This is Africa I say. This is Kenya. They don’t have it in them to do so. I remain partially optimistic and partially pessimistic – this is to shield my heart

.

I get out to catch some air. My neighbor passes.

Neighbor: You are still here?

Mc’Obor: Yeah, watching the Supreme Court proceedings

Neighbor: Why would you torture yourself with that? Don’t you already know the outcome?

Mc’Obor: It does seem it’s going in our favor

Neighbor: Never, not in Kenya.

-Back to the house-

Maraga takes over from Ojwang’. He reads the court’s decision. I hear only three words. “Has been nullified”

Canaan spirit enters me; I sing. I dance. I talk in tongues. I whistle. I sing adage songs, patriotic songs, I Tibim. I Tialala. I am possessed. I am ecstatic. I am HAPPY. I am tearful. I am humbled. I am justified. I am validated. I matter. I go back to dancing. I shout.

I get out of the house to de-steam. I find 5 kids playing, actually arguing. They are about 6/7/8 years.

Kid 1: NASA ni Wajaluos

Kid 2: Hapana, NASA si Wajaluos

Kid 3: Basi Jubilee ni nini?

Kid 4 & 5: Following but confused.

I approach them. Am grinning

Mc’Obor: Haya, kujeni ni waelezee…

Kids: They come closer, very attentive, uncertain of what I will say, some look at me apprehensively, some shyly.

Mc’Obor: Nasa ni coalition ya wakenya wote Kama mimi na wewe

Kid 1: Nasa si ODM? I grin. Am happy ODM is known even by kids her age. I correct her. No, ODM is one of the parties forming NASA coalition.

Mc’Obor: Kuna mtu wa Jubilee hapa?

Kid 3: Looks like he wants to respond in affirmation, but afraid. I encourage him to respond. Yes, he says

Mc’Obor: Great, usiogope. Jubilee pia ni party kama ODM and usiskie vibaya wewe ni wa Jubilee

Mc’ Obor: Nani ni wa Nasa?

Kids 1,4&5: Mimi?

Mc’Obor: Great, lakini mcheze nyinyi wote pamoja, kwa amani na furaha

Mc’Obor: Nani president wa Nasa?

Kids in unison: Raila

Mc’Obor: Good, Great and soon, President ya waKenya wote.

I leave, still feeling happy. I look back and ALL of them are dancing and chanting. NASA TIBIM!

ISSAWRAP. I say to myself.

ISSAWRAP!

My little one, you are here at last, Africa is blessed to have you.

A month or so before you were conceived, my womb kept calling, I could cross a busy road just to go and carry a baby on the other side, I knew I was somewhat ready for you.

We talked about you, preconception, but for irreconcilable reasons, your father and I had to go our separate ways.

Then a month came and passed, listened to my body for the usual “that time of the month” cues, I wasn’t sure my body was telling me anything, so off to the chemist I went  - the lines came back 2.

My brain has a weird way of processing news, both good and bad, the magnitude of the news normally hits me much later, way later…and so, did the news of your arrival.

It was on a Saturday.

Those who know me will tell you that you changed me for the better; I became happier, still am. Bad news never seem to get to me, not anymore, I became more tolerant to divergent views and opinions even to actions that would initially get me all worked up, became patient and hopeful, you brought positive energy into my life.

You were a calm one, from the word go, no mood swings, no cravings, just a bigger belly and a happy soul.

You make me happy.

On October 22^nd at 10:47 am, you kicked, on a Saturday - it was your first.

That feeling remained with me for days, I looked forward to more of your kicks.

 We talked a lot; you became my constant companion, we started mulling over how our future would pan out, I started making plans on how our weekends will be our bonding sessions, the way we would go to Arboretum and soak in the peace that nature brings, how we will go to church and adore Jesus with you in the chapel, how we will visit relatives together, how I will introduce you to the world of computer programming, how I will ask you questions; not to get an answer but to pick your mind how you approach questions, to understand the logic behind your answers, how we will farm together , how we will find satisfaction and comfort in each other.

On March 7^th at 5 am, you came; your cries filled the theater, they showed me your balls before I saw your face, the heir apparent, the one who would perpetuate the Minto Dynasty , I knew I loved you already, I had carried you in my heart and womb for 39 weeks 2 days, I was ready to carry you in my arms and heart.

Watching you is my new hobby. Until I met you, I did not know love this intense existed, am intoxicated and obsessed with you, dangerously in love with you, you are my world.

Sleeping next to me so tiny, I already see a man developing a mind of his own; very active, very loving, rejects not anyone, allows every visitor to carry him.

Listening to your baby talks- your abujubuju buju :-)- fills me with so much joy, you fill my heart with so much love, hope and positivity.

Sometimes, I wonder what crosses your mind, I wonder what wags your soul.

When our eyes lock, I see heaven, sometimes when you look at me, direct and tender the way you lovingly do, I feel as though you can read my thoughts, my mind and heart. When you trace my facial features as you frequently do, I want your small fingers to never leave my face, when you go into your corner and switch yourself off to the noise of the world, sometimes you look sad and in that moment, my heart breaks.

When you kick your tiny legs to the recognition of my voice, when the touch of my hand calms you down, when you hold me as though your life depends on it, you enrich my life in ways I never knew was possible.

Because of you, I have met some of the most incredible people

Because of you, I have experienced love from total strangers

Because of you, I have become more considerate and understanding to people I meet

Because of you, my life is full of possibilities

Because of you, my life is rich and full of hope

Because of you, my dreams scare me

Because of you, I have learnt to reach out to others when I feel like am drowning and be there for others who are hurting

Because of you, my life has a purpose

Because of you, I let Go and let God.

Thank you.

“He will be one great man”, my uncle quipped when I told him I have named you after him, the love in his voice moved me to tears, and great you will be, because I believe him.

Our journey has just began my dear one, a lot still lays ahead, through it all, we will soldier on and keep each other grounded.

Welcome to the world once again, be a man of character, of principle, of integrity and open your heart to love.

May the world be kind to you, may your life be rich.

                                           <3

Fare thee well dear one – I seek atonement for my betrayal

“You may not recognize her”, my brother had warned. I heard his voice break, his eyes looked unfocused, his gauze was hollow; he had a special connection with mum.

Stronger, I thought I was until I set foot in that hospital, until I set foot in that ward, then I knew what illness can do to the body, then I knew that health is wealth.

I saw a child-like body, I wondered what the “child” was suffering from, she looked small, so small and frail, so small even for a child until I moved closer and it hit me, she was not a child; on that bed my mum laid, the child-like figure was my mum. Our eyes locked, and my tears flowed like an opened tap. I moaned my mum before she passed on and I shed no tears when she eventually passed on.

“It’s me”, she said, “moan me not, for I am still alive” and her words opened more taps from my tear gland, I left the room, I couldn’t stand to see her like that, I couldn’t stand to look at her without being a wreck, I wasn’t strong enough to be brave for her and tell her it shall be well, I wasn’t strong enough to promise her tomorrow, I didn’t see a tomorrow to promise her. I wanted her to go home, go and rest, go and rest with them Angels – she would do exactly that in a few days, she gave up the fight. Angels are keeping her peaceful, that I fully believe.

Because, she was a fellow Angel who walked the earth.

I have never visited anyone else in a critical condition again since then, because I am never too sure how I would react.

But Immaculate was different, Immaculate I wanted to go see, Immaculate was another angel I wanted to go comfort when in an hospital bed, but Immaculate left too soon, my procrastination took the better of me, and tomorrow never came, until it was too late.

I betrayed you girl, I betrayed our friendship, I betrayed your love for me, I betrayed you as a colleague, I betrayed you as your manager, I betrayed you as a friend, I betrayed you as a confidante, I betrayed you as a human being, I betrayed you deeply, so deeply I do not have a moral ground to even say your name, to even talk about you, to even moan you.

I betrayed you dear one.

Many a time you showed me how one can be happy amidst challenges, many a time, you comforted me when I felt the work pressure would have the better of me, many a time you showed me what it means to care.

Your smile radiated everywhere you went, your easy going personality earned you more friends than I can count, many of us of ”two left feet” wished we could shake it like you did.

You were a ray of hope, you lit everywhere you went.

Then cancer came calling, it didn’t care that you had not even celebrated your quarter century of existence, it dimmed your radiance, it made you pale, it extinguished your light.

And through it all, Minto came not to comfort you, to hold your hand, to tell you to hang on, no she didn’t and for that swiry, she has no one else to blame but herself.

Your demise has brought to the fore my weakest points as a friend, it has reminded me once again of my mortality and that tomorrow is not always promised.

“If I should die – Thomas Gray

If I should die and leave you
Be not like the others, quick undone
Who keep long vigils by the silent
dust and weep.

For my sake turn to life and smile

 Nerving thy heart and trembling

hand to comfort weaker souls than thee.
Complete these unfinished tasks of mine
And I perchance may therein comfort thee”

Your death will not go to waste without lighting another ray of humanity in me, for the sake of your demise and to seek your atonement for the wrongs I did during this period when you needed me the most, I will try to the best of my capability to extend a helping hand to weaker souls in need, to be a ray of hope to souls in need, these swiry, I will do to complete your unfinished task to humanity.

To all the cancer fighters…

I dedicate "Am gonna love you through it, by Martina Mc’bride”

Pain

It was a touch that saved, it was a hug that healed, Brielle a young, sweet beautiful woman whom doctors had given a dim hope for survival was saved by her sister Kyrie’s hug, known in the blogosphere as ‘rescuing hug’ some 19 yrs ago. The power of touch.

It’s physical but impact emotional and sometimes, most of the times what we need is actually the reassuring touch, that touch that communicates volumes, that touch that heals, that touch that gives hope and gives you energy to continue fighting, that touch that keeps your demons at bay. That touch that cures the pain. The power of touch.

Pain has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in us, pain brings out the ‘baby’ in us, makes one vulnerable, helpless and sometimes hopeless. Pain can harden as well as humble, makes you appreciate the absence of it and helps in shaping your thinking, pain is the catalyst for change because with great pain, comes great change. If you are not ready to change, then you are not in enough pain. Pain moulds!

Pain will always be there, some damning so damning that you wonder whether you will ever pull through but the most painful of all is the emotional pain because it touches your very being, your very soul, your very integrity. The pain of the heart goes deeper, it exposes your vulnerability, leaves you naked. Sometimes you want the whole world to see you for who you are- a hurting soul in need of rescuing, but there is so much pain in the world that only a few genuinely stop by to offer the rescuing touch, majority are curious and social media has made it worse. Who then I ask will rescue the introverts!

Today I want to speak to the broken heart reading this.

As humans, we’re wired to experience incredible love and affection. But for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction, and when it comes to the ecstasy of true love, that reaction is a gut-wrenching pain, a deep void of sadness, utter lethargy, and feelings of seemingly eternal loneliness. It even gets more confusing when you second guess yourself based on the truth that the emotion that breaks your heart is sometimes the very one that can heal it.

After all has been said and done, through the pain and through the hurt, through the storm and the rain, plant your feet, square your shoulders...and just STAND...

And to paraphrase the words of Gary Zukav, there comes a time when the pain of continuing exceeds the pain of stopping. At that moment, a threshold is crossed. What seemed unthinkable becomes thinkable. Slowly, the realization emerges that the choice to continue what you have been doing is the choice to live in discomfort, and the choice to stop what you have been doing is the choice to breathe deeply and freely again. Once that realization has emerged, you can either honor it or ignore it, but you cannot forget it. What has become known cannot become unknown again.

My dear, let your pain mould you, shape you, ground you. Use this experience to build a character, to build a humane human being, to give you a holistic view of your universe. Learn from your pain.