This is for the King, this is for our own Negro, and this is for him whose sun has set- RIP KUNTA.

 A Crack On The Ground (by Peter Gumbo)

The last time I saw him breath he was asleep,
But the last time I saw him sleep,
I could not help but weep,
My tears trickled down and formed a sorrowful heap,

Lying there cold,
His face just seemed hollow,
Even though the faces around him,
Were drowning in sorrow,
Gone? To them it did not seem.

Gone in an instant like thunder,
Clear yet unexpected,
Leaving us all torn asunder,
And feeling rejected.

The cruel hand that fate lends in misery,
To me will forever be a mystery,
Who would have ever thought that he would be gone elsewhere,
And that I would be staring at an empty horizon.

Kunta, Why did you have to go?

……………………………………………………………………………………

Ngong everything iz either long or wrong, that is precisely how the king always put it when gulping down the landlord’s drink………..

The king is gone, the subjects are now just wondering wanderers at his majesty’s royal, the house in the hillz is warm no more, negro, you just don’t vanish, go mid airz;  we still seek ‘em last gud byez, u don ‘jus up and leave! What happened to courtesy? And how about the promised empresses’ triumphant entry at the majesty’s parlor?

Did the hillz dim his highness’ star prematurely? Dem hillz I understand lack in every sense any form of mercy even to a man of his majesty’s stature, did some tingz up in da hill get you losing your way?

Kunta, you were weird you know, crazy and insane to be precise, but your insanity made laughter rain lyk ‘em  Lil Wayne’ chedder, meen we will miss you negro. You made puffing ‘em Jeffery look like a hobby, you made the crew jealous coz you were always up there, you were an adventure in itself, you were a mystery to be explored, a research to be conducted and a myth to be accepted. But you are gone to soon; to soon before this being could be unwrapped, please let your spirit tell us what happened up there, up in the king’s royal in his majesty’s abode, up in the house in the hillz?

Tell ‘em angels how you rocked down here tell them how it felt to be up in the air, tell them to watch over the orphaned subjects you left behind. Kunta, your memory will stay with us until we meet again to rock with ‘em angels.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

This poem reminds me of his highness…….

THE INTIMATE KISS (by Peter Gumbo) 

A single piercing lick, 
From the lip of vengeance, 
Just did the trick, 
He went down sick without even a single peek, 
Drowning in the pool of her painful pleasure, 
He struggled for even a single gesture, 
But with each fading second, 
He seemed to loose his most valuable treasure, 

He tried hard to gasp, 
His hand maintaining on his valuable a strong grasp, 
Though it was already balancing on a cliff, 
For out of reach was his relief, 
An imbalance of emotion, 
She never knew went with no notion, 
It was just a slippery lotion, 
And now she begged for more of him even if just a portion, 

It was a clot, 
Less visible than even a dot, 
Unbelievable to the eye it was for it went with no voice, 
An act committed out of choice, 
All round the floor sipped, 
His most valuable redness, 
As the heavens embraced his increasing deadness, 
Into the hole of perpetual silence his spirit dipped, 

If not for me then to no one else will you belong, 
Was her painful song, 
As she committed the most dreadful wrong, 
To her it was her last intimate kiss, 
But to him it was the most painful kiss, 
On the neck, 
Is where she placed the peck, 
Silently she whispered, 
If not for me the to no one else will you belong, 

REST IN PEACE KING ALFRED GIKONYO a.k.a KUNTA

Circle of Pain- Just who is to break it?

She knows it kills him inside, the knowledge that the love that he so much yearns for can never be reciprocated, but can we really blame her, when she is a walking corps herself? The doc advised her against too much thinking coz her ulcers levels had sky rocketed and were harmful to her health, but how can she not think of him when all she needs, all she yearns for, all she longs for every waking day of her life is his love which she cannot get because he is equally dying to be loved by someone else?

The fact that he could sing made her fall deep in love with him, made her almost crazy, she had a thing for songs and deep respect almost an awe for musicians, she had always wondered how they transform words to convey various human feelings into beats and rhythms that was flawless, she could spot a great voice from a far and listening to music was her chill factor. “Maybe we could be singing right now, maybe we could be humming our favorite rumba rhythms together”, she thought to herself.  “ How would singing with him feel like, am sure I would be singing like a frog and gently with love and affection he would be guiding me back to the right key, maybe we could be running around, throwing pillows at each other and devouring each moment, never wanting to be ever apart, maybe we could be coding a game changer software, the next big thing, who knows, hmmmmmm, or maybe we could be swimming right now, am sure I would be falling like a stone deep under the pool, and am sure as hell that he wouldn't let me drown, he would dive to save me and we would all smile, laugh and joke about it, who knows, we could even be tendering to our shamba right now, taking care of our small orchard , maybe we could………..at this point she trailed off, tears welled up her eyes and she realized she was wishing for an impossibility, he was gone, he was never  and has never been hers, he has never been free……he is too haunted by his own demons to love her, she culled herself to her pillow and cried her sorrows away.

“ Pa- she would one day open up to one of her best friends , mentor and former lecturer – I am a walking corpse” That statement took him a back, what is it doty? He asked with concern and pain that almost drove her to tears. It’s this man, this man that I can’t seem to forget, she paused for the point to sink in- I can’t leave him behind, I am stuck in time.  “It’s okay, he said. You are an intelligent, smart, independent and above all my star, am sure he never loved you, otherwise he wouldn't let you go, he wasn't good for you  and am sure God will help you to get someone who will cherish you and see you as I do, someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, someone who will see the gold in you, if he let you go, then that moron was never good enough for you because my angel, you deserve better”.

As consoling as he was, her mind kept betraying her, going back to that Friday-that Friday when she sealed her own fate, that Friday that nothing whatsoever has ever been able to erase. That Friday when she let it go, that Friday has been her solace and sorrow, her strength and weakness, she would do anything, absolutely anything to re-live that day, ANYTHING! That day gives her the strength to face another day, hope that if she could experience such feelings here on earth then heaven does indeed exist on earth, that feeling was a feeling to treasure but that very feeling has been her everyday nightmare, the fact that she cannot re-live it again, the fact that it’s gone has been her daily hell and a constant reminder that hell too, indeed does exist on planet earth.

He looked at that man who sat by her side, that man who had been so patient with her, hoping that she would come around and love him, that man who like him needed her love only that her love was imprisoned, imprisoned by the memories of this other man, and therefore she had no more love to give. She looked at him, knowing too well what she was about to tell him and with only too well of an understanding how he would feel, she gathered her courage and told him that she was a walking corpse, that she had no love to give, that she had tried to break loose-loose from the past-but that her past and present lines were so blurred she no longer knew which world she lived.

And she let him go………and the one her heart ached for will never come back to her, she knew that as well and so it was all a circle of pain, but who will break it? Time will tell, SOMEDAY......

Democracy on trial or triumph of Democracy? - Let Supreme Court tell Kenyans

It was now just a few more days to elections, historic elections to be precise as this was the first of elections to be conducted under the new constitutional dispensation unlike the other elections that Kenya had carried out this was distinctly different as electorates were going to choose other than the traditional president, member of parliament and ward representatives we were as well tasked  with choosing county senators, governors and women representatives ( a position that I am still opposed to as I don’t understand why we should have an exclusive women post in this era when we claim for equality and equity)

Things were pretty tense, this was an election that pollsters had termed too close to call but what heightened the mood so much was that this was not just an ordinary election with ordinary competitors, it was an election that pitied the country’s founding father’s son to that of the country’s first prime ministers’ son (first president Mzee Jomo Kenyatta and Moluor Jaramogi Oginga Odinga sons were battling it out to become the country’s’ next CEO)

Kenya is a conglomeration of 42 tribes but politically dominated by Luos and Kikuyus, political animosity between these two tribes dates back to the pre independent days when Jaramogi had an opportunity of a lifetime to be the country’s’ first president only to relinquish it to Mzee jomo Kenyatta who was then in custody, Kenyatta reciprocated the generous gesture by undermining Mr. Odinga and making sure that his community  (Luos) were politically and economically marginalized,  this political enmity is so deep rooted and its full manifestation came to a public glare during this electioneering period as their sons were battling it out for the country’s top leadership.

This was equally an election that had international community have a laser focus on its developments. After the bungled 2007 elections that saw Kenya sink to its lowest moments, ICC was to later charge Mr. Kenyatta alongside other 3 Kenyans with crimes against humanity.  It was therefore termed an election of high stakes and with far reaching consequences as it was regarded as Mr. Odinga’s last shot at presidency and Mr. Kenyattas political and survival lifeline.

Kenyans were a worried lot especially after the harrowing 2007/08 experience, even though a great chunk of airtime was dedicated to calling for peace the fear of unknown barred Kenyans from trusting their neighbors especially if your political affiliations were parallel.

Days were moving fast and political temperatures were souring, like any other ‘healthy’ relationship we had one of our major fights during this period, partly because we couldn’t agree on some trivial issues, the political temperatures also did play a role in this. You see I was one of Odinga’s die hard supporters, I was corded to the core (Cord- a term that Mr. Odinga’s team came up with when they joined ranks with Kalonzo Musyoka and  other parties  to steer the country’s agenda forward, theirs was based on reforms, unity and democracy whereas Mr. Kenyatta’s was Jubilee – a coalition that also brought together his co accused Mr. Ruto and other parties, theirs was mainly seen as  a referendum against ICC, pegged on youthfulness ,digital era, they had lofty promises among them providing a solar powered laptop to every primary school child), my partner on the other hand was neither corded nor jubilant and so when he invited me to join him in his elections observations work I politely declined as I wanted to watch Jakom- as we fondly called Jaramogi’s son- take this thing clean and square without any disruptions whatsoever.

The D-day approached first and our voter turnout was only rivaled by Ghana’s at 85%. I have never seen Kenyans so optimistic and so fearful, the stakes were high, battle lines had been drawn and everything was ready to take on this historic moment. 

Prior to elections, Cord team had hinted at some mechanisms that were being put in place to aid Jubilee team manipulate the election results, a claim that was swiftly denied by the Jubilee and named government individuals- rigging was one of the main factors that resulted to bloodshed during 07/08 fiasco. IEBC (taking over from ECK) was set up to restore public’s trust in the electoral body, Judiciary gave the public their word that they would be impartial when determining electoral petitions should they come before them, media also was not left behind in rallying on the peace platform and ensuring that Kenyans remained peaceful during and after the elections.

‘Mum, I know this is hard for you but it seems like your man is losing’, my partner would tell me after IEBC started releasing presidential results that saw Kenyatta take an early lead, there is no way Mr. Kenyatta can beat Mr. Odinga, things are still premature to draw conclusions based on this provisional results, I argued but he knew more, more than I wanted to be told more than I was prepared to hear. Being at the thick of it at Bomas for days and nights he was definitely privy to a lot more of info than what the media would let out of the bag, from his tone I knew things were far from okay.

IEBC would later announce Mr. Kenyatta as president-elect, Mr. Odinga would later term the whole exercise as ‘Democracy on Trial’ whereas Mr. Kenyatta in his acceptance speech  would equally term it as  ‘Triumph of Democracy ‘.

• Was democracy on trial?
• Was it a triumph of democracy?
• Did IEBC fail Kenyans?
• Will Judiciary deliver justice?
• Was media biased?

These are questions whose answers now lie in the hands of supreme court that is mandated with determining the petition lodged by cord challenging the outcome of election results as Mr. Odinga claims that his was victory snatched.

As a great mind would put it:

“CORDS  case is NOT really against JUBILEE.....Neither is it against UHURU.......Its focus is IEBC...JUBILEES victory notwithstanding.......CORD is saying IEBC you were inefficient.

JUBILEE you may have the votes, but IEBC there were irregularities that could have swung the pattern of the election... CORDS case is not targeting UKs legitimacy as president in a fair contest... 

It’s against IEBC lack of reasonable doubt in declaring UK a winner. It’s Not RAO and UK butting heads... It's NOT I HOPE about LUOS and KIKUYUS at leadership TUG of war.... 

It's about solidifying a system that we can never and should never doubt, when it takes over the great government machinery..

It’s a test, of elections that are free of suspicion, a test of our judiciary, in that it can be impartial and solid.....

CORD HAS PURPOSEFULLY put together some of the best legal minds (if not the best) we have in this country..... both the lawyers and the judges... So that the judicial system can prove itself... We say we can try the the ICC CASES LOCALLY? Let’s try this... if IEBC was wrong then the elections should be repeated by any means....

If the elections were beyond reproach then UK should be sworn in, but..... Let it be beyond reasonable doubt. 

Voters always lose if the elections are bad; candidates lose in free and fair elections”

Can’t wait to hear the arguments in the court case

The scar will always remain

It’s a feeling you can’t quite place, it is confusion, anger, denial, betrayal, loneliness etc. all mixed in one. The feeling is raw and people deal with it differently, it’s feeling you never wish to have, you can’t quite explain how or what you are feeling, it rips your heart apart and with it sometimes your soul and even your humanity. It’s a feeling that with all sincerity you wish to go away but you just don’t know how, it reminds you how alone you are in this world, people can only imagine what you are going through but they can never really know and you have to deal with it a lone only YOU can save yourself!

Maybe it brings out the real you into the fore or maybe the real animal in you, but one things is for sure to a great extent it changes who you are maybe gives you supernatural powers to do things you never knew you were capable of!

It has driven people into asylums, led to great inventions or even great pieces of work-songs, paintings, drawings etc., some it has turned into convicts capable of committing the most heinous of crimes imaginable under the sun whereas others it has turned into great spiritualists and individuals worth emulating but one thing is certain this feeling can drive you to your limits!       

To others they just lock themselves up, never to be opened again, they remain a mystery even to themselves whereas others go to great lengths of making sure they inflict the same pain if not more to other people, they want others to feel and go through exactly what they have been or still going through because what defines their humanity is lost, they have remained only shells  and they don’t know how to deal with that, it eats them up and every time they get the opportunity to make someone else go through the same they feel temporal relief or even some degree of heroism but then again they would want the relief to be permanent, never to fade again and so they have to keep inflicting that pain to other people frequently-they become addicts until they don’t know which hurts the more; their own pain or the  pain they are causing others.       

                                                                      

‘I don’t know who I am anymore’ she said biting her tongue, you could tell it was weighing heavily on her, ‘Past few months I have done things am not particularly proud of’ she continued hoping that by spitting it out she would get some relief but we all knew, something in her had changed at some point, something that made her pull it together, right now, she was just existing, surviving!

                                         Break gold or even diamonds,

                                         Break glasses or even the most expensive things in the world

                                         But never break someone’s heart coz the scar will always remain!

(Read a poem close to this in high school, can’t remember by whom or the exact words but the point is the same)

Heartbreak: A feeling you don’t wanna wish even to your worst enemy

Not acceptable? You be the judge

It’s 6 in the evening, a sleek car arrives to pick her up, there is a temporal joy, pride, achievement and even satisfaction but it doesn’t last for long, her conscience bothers her, her soul is troubled, her body is not in sync something is amiss, completely amiss, she knows it, she feel s it but she is torn in between.

She is taken to exotic places, fancy restaurants, and meets people of class and substance but the guilt will not let her be, why am I doing this? Why am I betraying so many people at once? Why am I stooping so low? For a moment her reasoning gets the best of her, she walks out but walks right back in, the guilt eating her softly.

Her nieces and nephews look up to her as a role model, outwardly she is the epitome of morality, of hard work, of diligence and a saintly being, so many people hold her on a pedestal, no one really knows her, to them she is saintly, to her she is worse than the devil incarnate, it bothers her, eats her up but she has no energy or will to let go, she has become a slave to her own self, but why?

What does she get from him anyway? Not money, not fame, not a good life, not material things and certainly not a great sex, then what? Every time he would give her money, however little, her heart would sink with it; she would feel like a walking skeleton so she stopped asking and taking anything of monetary value from him. She would never let him buy her anything, she valued her independence, and at least she still held on to that but then why was she with him? During their whole ‘pretense’ she kissed him twice, both instances when inebriated, the thought would come to haunt her later but she could deal with that. Sex became a taboo topic to discuss between them, it nauseated her the sight of him naked would literally make her sick and she made this known  the best way she felt how without bruising egos, so then why was she with him? 

One thing she liked with the whole arrangement was the fact that she set her own rules, and literally lived by them, rarely did she buckle down and he knew this just as much, but then why did they have to put up with each other?

                                                 …………………………

It was one fine Friday afternoon, outside library of one of the country’s leading learning institutions; she had gone to meet him, to give him her CV. They were meeting after over a decade of separation, they had once met when she was a kid, she vaguely remembered him and therefore this meeting other than to jolt up the past memory, she had hoped that through him, she would secure a well-paying job- not an awkward scenario in itself-after all this is a ‘man eat man country’ , who you know matters more than what you know and being a fairly respectable person with lots of linkages, she had hoped to tap on that and land herself her first job, her graduation was coming up in a few months.

During their initial exchanges, she noticed a rather lonely man, slightly unkempt and despite having everything else going for him he needed help which not just everyone could give, his family was away, had been away for years now, though they were constantly in communication their absence weighed heavily on him. She therefore thought she would help, but how without ruining everything? How?

                                                ……………………………

She knew he didn’t love her, he liked her a great deal but certainly not love though he would insist on the latter, she equally liked him, he seemed tender, was a gentleman enough and respected her a great deal, but then it became an uphill task to ‘help’ him without compromising certain values that she held so dear. But there is one more reason why she kept the whole ‘scandal’ going: she used him as a yardstick; she wanted a life and lifestyle like his, he was deeply knowledgeable, had admirable business acumen, was a keen investor, she admired all these and more and by getting closer to him, she had hoped to learn a great chunk from him on how he did his dealings, the principles and rules that he lived by and the secret to being so successful.

Maybe by taking this route she made one of her biggest errors in life, she knew she erred anyway but was equally glad that every day she could learn something new. She needed to feel a live again, her conscience heavily weighed down on her and with all the resolve she could master, she called it a day-she quit.

Though it was a fairly secret arrangement, the society could have judged her harshly were the society be in the know, she doesn’t absolve herself from her deeds either  but wished that sometimes before we cast the first stone, examining and understanding ones motive wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

                                                  (Jumbled up flow is intentional)

Let the kids be: it’s the least we can give them

Being a kid is so interesting, you know, kids are supposed to be the free spirits, the carefree souls, the worry free beings, their world typically should consist of throwing tantrums, playing, crying, sleeping and if old enough studying- which ought to be a leisure in itself. But am afraid things are slowly changing, for the worse I must add. Majority of kids nowadays, barely into their fifth birthday know the pain of lacking; lacking a good life, lacking a good environment in which to grow, they are already aware of the faults and crimes committed in their society, their innocence is already in question.  Long ago leaning was meant to be fun for kids, not any more- what with tuition at just a kindergarten level? Instead of kids thinking about their favorite games, they are thinking about books, about what to eat should they go back home, they are thinking about the disharmony they witness their parents go through, they have to worry about the ills of their society- what happened to being kids? Why can’t we just let them be? 

Play forms a very integral part of a child’s development: 

A child who has been allowed to develop play resources receives many enduring advantages. First, she develops a universal learning skill. Second, play maximizes her potential by developing her creativity and imagination. Third, her relationships with the world and others are based on loving-kindness. Fourth, play promotes joy, which is essential for self-esteem and health. Fifth, her learning process is self-sustained based as it is on her own natural love of learning and playful engagement with life. Sixth, play creates a basic trust in the world.   (Source: http://www.originalplay.com/develop.htm)

 

But prey I ask, how can a child play when she/he barely have a place to sleep? When he/she doesn’t have food in her precious lil tummy? When she\he hardly knows what it means to be happy?

Just for the record, it wouldn’t bother me as much if a kid walked with tattered clothes, or bare feet, no it wouldn’t, but it rips my heart a part when at just such a tender age they already know the pain of hunger, the pain of being unwanted, the pain of having to struggle, to hustle in order to get something to eat. 

There is this particular kid who reminds me every day how cruel the society has become, how his innocence have been taken away from him and forced to grow up well ahead of his age, every day on my way to work, I see this kid- I guess he hasn’t celebrated his 5^th birthday just yet, or utmost he is 5.  Almost 9 into the night (everyday), he is always busy cleaning up the place his mum and him were selling the groceries, he does that so diligently that he makes me feel guilty of untidying my environment, but I wonder what time he gets to sleep, what time he plays, what time he eats and if he ever have a sound sleep? I wonder!  At such a tender age, he knows the pain of hustling, the value of money , he has been forced to grow up, to fend for himself….how can such a kid have  unshakable self-esteem when he grows up? How can he ever trust the world? How can he develop his/her creativity and imagination when he barely have time to engage the world and fellow kids on the playground?

30^th of September was another dark moment in Kenya’s history, a grenade was hurled at innocent children attending a church service by the Alshabab militia groups, one boy who had just celebrated his 9^th birthday lost his precious life, in Tana Delta, kids were among the targeted group, quite a number lost their lives………and I ask, with lots of pain in my heart, since when did it become so easy to kill a child? Why would anyone, however hardcore you are, target an innocent child? What satisfaction do you get from harming a kid who barely understands your motive?  Why would you want to get sexual satisfaction from a months' old baby? How twisted is your brain? Why would you want to molest an innocent child? 

We are failing as a society and as humanity if we can’t shield them from the cruelty that exists in the world, children are the true reflection of the society, you bring up a rogue child, you create unsecure society, you bring up a morally upright kid, you eliminate the ‘ campus divas for rich men’ .

                                             Play your part; it’s your call as well.