It’s a feeling you can’t quite place, it is confusion,
anger, denial, betrayal, loneliness etc. all mixed in one. The feeling is raw
and people deal with it differently, it’s feeling you never wish to have, you
can’t quite explain how or what you are feeling, it rips your heart apart and
with it sometimes your soul and even your humanity. It’s a feeling that with
all sincerity you wish to go away but you just don’t know how, it reminds you
how alone you are in this world, people can only imagine what you are going
through but they can never really know and you have to deal with it a lone only
YOU can save yourself!
Maybe it brings out the real you into the fore or maybe the
real animal in you, but one things is for sure to a great extent it changes who
you are maybe gives you supernatural powers to do things you never knew you
were capable of!
It has driven people into asylums, led to great inventions
or even great pieces of work-songs, paintings, drawings etc., some it has
turned into convicts capable of committing the most heinous of crimes
imaginable under the sun whereas others it has turned into great spiritualists and
individuals worth emulating but one thing is certain this feeling can drive you
to your limits!
To others they just lock themselves up, never to be opened
again, they remain a mystery even to themselves whereas others go to great
lengths of making sure they inflict the same pain if not more to other people,
they want others to feel and go through exactly what they have been or still
going through because what defines their humanity is lost, they have remained
only shells and they don’t know how to
deal with that, it eats them up and every time they get the opportunity to make
someone else go through the same they feel temporal relief or even some degree
of heroism but then again they would want the relief to be permanent, never to
fade again and so they have to keep inflicting that pain to other people
frequently-they become addicts until they don’t know which hurts the more;
their own pain or the pain they are causing
others.
‘I don’t know who I am anymore’ she said biting her tongue,
you could tell it was weighing heavily on her, ‘Past few months I have done
things am not particularly proud of’ she continued hoping that by spitting it
out she would get some relief but we all knew, something in her had changed at
some point, something that made her pull it together, right now, she was just
existing, surviving!
Break gold or even diamonds,
Break
glasses or even the most expensive things in the world
But never
break someone’s heart coz the scar will always remain!
(Read a poem close to this in high school, can’t remember by
whom or the exact words but the point is the same)
Heartbreak: A feeling you don’t wanna wish even to your
worst enemy
