It’s Boxing Day again, I am told this is the day to open the
boxes of gifts received on Christmas day, but today my love I want to open my heart
to you, this heart which is full of so much love to give if only you knew how
to trigger it.
It’s been five wonderful years together , with 2 beautiful
gals- a constant reminder of God’s grace, mercy and love, we have had our dark
and bright moments, we have had days and weeks when we totally want out and
those moments when seeing each other is the only remedy. With you I have learnt
the power of perseverance and patience, your love has seen me surmount major challenges
that I never thought I would manage.
These girls that we have had together, these girls have been
my savior, they were sent to rescue me- rescue me from myself. You see my dear
love, I know those moments when I become completely unbecoming, stubborn and
completely irrational and I thank you for sticking by me during those moments but
sometimes I also feel if only you paid just slight attention to the underlying
causes to these irrational behavior, then maybe you would know how to handle me
better and this empire of ours would be nothing but the envy of many.
This my dear beloved, valued and treasured love is how I
would appreciate being loved:
They say and I am inclined to believe that unlike men who
needs to feel admired but not as much as they need to feel loved, this species
of ours we are slightly different, as much as we need to feel loved, admiration
takes precedence this I feel you rarely do or show it, compliments here and
there will go a long way in achieving this.
To us words have power, real power- power to make or break
and I have a feeling you are being too economical with words, I want to fall
deeper and deeper in love with you, once in a while tell me how you feel and
most importantly tell me how I make you feel and mean it, this alone is enough
to reenergize me to work harder in this empire of ours. You remember that day I
made you mokimo and you said I make you happy, that you loved my cooking, every
time I remember that day, all I want to do is perfect my mokimo making skills
so that I keep you happy but you stopped and so I no longer know how exactly
you feel about me, I want to know both the days that I make you feel real bad instead
of bottling them up since this will equally help me make adjustments.
I know your work schedule is crazy but once in a while
create time for us, just me and you, let’s do some outdoor activity say chase
grasshoppers, marvel at the rainbow, watch wild animals just something out of
routine, this will refuel both of us and make us bond much better and allow us
to know each other deeply.
Surprises works magic, try it, some unexpected naughty text,
a thoughtful gift , this makes me feel that besides your schedule I was
actually crossing your mind, makes me feel more wanted, more valued and more
appreciated. You remember that petal flower that you plucked for me on your way
from work and that day in the kitchen when you blindfolded my eyes, removed PK
from your pocket and gave it to me? That day I was on top of the world, that
feeling was heavenly and I would want to feel that way more often.
Could it be that my after birth body makes me attractive no
more that you find it somewhat embarrassing to walk with me and introduce me to
your friends and colleagues? When Farooq had his first baby, I remember you
tagging me alone with you to go and see the baby together but above all I remember
how you introduced me to him, I remember the look in your eyes, you said I was
the bearer of your lost rib, that a rare gem I was, I also remember you tagging
me along to go and watch Ruben and Ezekiel play scrabble but you no longer take
me to meet your friends, you no longer introduce me people, you let them find
out for themselves, what changed dear?
There is nothing I would want to do more than to make you
happy, you do know how passionate I can get, let me love you but help me do it
better because when I am the only one who calls you the lovey dovey names, when
am the only one saying how I feel then it makes me think that this empire of
ours is one sided.
I understand the sacrifices you’ve made so far, the gradual
changes that were initially out of your character, and above all feel very valued
and appreciated.
Happy festive season dear!
