Did she break down? Is that pain I heard from her voice or was it regrets? Ohh, I might never know what she goes through everyday but my prayers are certainly with her!
I tuned in to today’s Classic FM morning conversation, hmm I rarely do that, partly because I believe if I continue listening to their daily conversations, I might never get married coz the things they talk about, the things that married people call in to say are definitely out of this world and I kind of had this feeling that maybe their conversation might have negative influence on me and therefore I stopped tuning in altogether, but today for some reason I tuned in and keeping with their trade mark they were talking about family issues- single mothers and how badly some treat their kids.
Many people called in to rant about what they went through in the hands of their single mothers, but this woman’s call stole my heart- did I shed a tear,…hmmm God of peace kindly grant her peace.
From the first seconds of her call, I could tell she was struggling to find her balance- to tell her story as calmly as she could without breaking down on air and at the same time, the magnitude of her guilt, pain and hurt just wouldn’t let her. This is one woman whose marriage didn’t work out after getting two kids who apparently were their dad’s copyright, so they separated and remained with the kids, still holding the bitterness with which the husband treated her, she resorted to beating the kids really bad whenever they erred, in her heart of hearts she knew she was beating the dad not the kids. So one day the eldest son of around 10 yrs- after the thorough beating asked the mom why she hated them so much, the mother, in a state of bitterness retorted that because they looked so much like their dad who had caused her so much pain! I don’t how much that kid understood but replied in obedience that ‘they were sorry they reminded her so much of their dad’ and somehow they hatched a plan which according to them was to help their mom but which has become her nightmare every waking day of her life!
So one day she left for work and left the kids with the house help- that’s the last time she saw her two boys alive. They bought ice-cream, sprayed it with poison and licked away their suffering, misery and pain the best way they knew how, a great sacrifice they took to ease their mums pain of seeing their dad every time she saw them and with that her kids were no more and so was the start of her nightmares that not even counseling could soothe. She lost her kids because she passed down her failed marriages’ frustrations on her kids who were brave enough to ease their mums’ pain by committing suicide. So now, she is 39 yrs old, no husband, no kids, no job (because in the state of her psychological torture she couldn’t perform and therefore quit her work) but above all no peace but guilt and pain of having betrayed her kids, of not becoming a good mother that she thought she would become.
This story reminds me of the life of Constance Briscoe otherwise known to her mother as Clear, one of the first black women to sit as a judge in the UK, she is well known for the suffering she endured in the hands of her mother that almost drove her into attempting suicide by drinking pesticide that she believed would kill her because according to her mother she was a germ- and she knew that pesticides were used for killing germs,….her book, UGLY and BEYOND UGLY (her mum kept reminding her at every available opportunity that she was ugly hence the book’s title) she documents her life and the kind of life she led- this book moved me to tears just like this woman’s’ story.
Parents out there, what kind of parent are you? and mothers out there, do you mistreat your kids because of their dad'a mistreatment of you? This woman's story is a lesson to all of us- parents and all the wannabes that it can be tool late to reverse some of these mistakes and that kids and their fathers are two distinct people so treat them differently.
And as some musician ones sang- Mtoto si nguo utaomba mtu- kosa lnagu mi nalia sana (a child is not a clothe you can borrow from someone, and my mistakes I regret so much)
Parents out there, what kind of parent are you? and mothers out there, do you mistreat your kids because of their dad'a mistreatment of you? This woman's story is a lesson to all of us- parents and all the wannabes that it can be tool late to reverse some of these mistakes and that kids and their fathers are two distinct people so treat them differently.
And as some musician ones sang- Mtoto si nguo utaomba mtu- kosa lnagu mi nalia sana (a child is not a clothe you can borrow from someone, and my mistakes I regret so much)
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