In him, everything sank!

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

But how can you blame him when love once dealt him a fatal blow, how can you blame him when the past memories still blur his vision, how can you blame him when it sounded too good to be true? How can you blame him when he doesn’t understand your hurt, how can you blame him when he still sizes you up, how can you blame him when he got his standards, how can you blame him when it was too early too soon? But in you dear, everything sank!

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

It pierces like a sword, confuses like algebra, wounds like a terrorist - ohh the aborted love, you are worse than assassin. You deprive one the desire to face a new day, you dash the hopes and reduce them to nothingness, Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Coz in you everything sank!

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
And the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar

Those eyes reminded her of someone, someone who was once that dear, and that gaze seemed so genuine, they aroused thirst and hunger and he was there to quench them, to satisfy them. Those hands uh, they made her feel so tender, put her in a wanton state, the way he stole her heart- he could have been a crook and then everything was shattered to oblivion, in him everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Until only the memory would come back to assault her, nothing could assuage the hurt, she felt lonely amidst crowd, questions kept bombarding her head, the whys?, the hows? The what  ifs but never the I wish I knews,  In the bosom of her heart, she still loved him, longed for him and came up with excuses to justify his insensitive deed. Or could it be a payback time? After all they say- What goes around comes back around, and she knew only too well.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Every man's memory is his private literature, so they say, and hers was an intense literature that never had a slow motion, everything happened so fast but they left an indelible mark, with no rewind button to unhappen whatever had happened- the entwined bodies, the unforgettable kisses, the shared laughs, the muted dreams, oh in him everything sank!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

But how could she blame him when she loved him so much, when she cared about him so much, when she thought in him she had reached? How could she blame him when maybe he was equally hurting- but was he? How could she blame him when she couldn’t find it in her heart to do so? But in him, everything sank!

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

(Poem excerpts from Pablo Nerudo’s Song of despair)